The “F” Word

I think I have thought about starting a “blog” or a space for me for a while and so many things have stopped me. Time. Fear. What do I write about? There’s already so much out there, what could I have to offer? Writing not being my strong suit. Fear, did I mention fear?

I think fear is everyone’s biggest opponent when doing something new. Fear that no one will like what you have to say. Fear that you won’t be good at it. Fear that you won’t have enough important things to say. Fear that you will start something and not actually finish it. Fear stops us before we even start something. So today I am not going to let fear be my opponent.

Every time I have sat down to start writing this I hear my friend Ruth’s voice in my head, “ I wrote your name in as a potential speaker for MOPS because I think you’d be great.” I laughed at this and thought wow, what a compliment, then said “ I don’t know what I would talk about.” What she didn’t know was that this had been something I had contemplated for a while. Something I think the Lord has been stirring in my heart to share some of my experiences with moms.  Then that “f” word comes creeping in again. Fear. What could l speak about? What could I bring to the table that would be different? What would moms want to hear from me?

I am so many things to so many different people. I am a wife, mom, daughter, sister, labor and delivery nurse, cook, maid, waitress, crafter,  piano player, singer, hostess and a child of God. I list all of these things and then I hear that little voice of fear saying yes you are, but you are also NOT so many things. You are not very athletic (very clumsy), not good at finances (thank the Lord for Blake), you overcommit and often times set unrealistic goals or just goals that are never completed. I don’t always do my devotional, I am easily distracted by social media and the TV and can not be present when I need to be and and and….

Fear can tell us so many things we are not, but I think we should as women and moms focus on who we are and what we are good at instead of the things we lack or don’t do well. My list of things I don’t do well could be endless as I am sure everyone else’s could be as we are all our own harshest critics. Ladies, do you know what else you are, do you know what your most important role is, YOU.

As a mom to two small children, I cannot tell you how many times I have been told “ Oh I miss those days, soak them up, they go by too quickly.” Don’t get me wrong the years go by very quickly but the days seem to tick by like you are walking through molasses at times when you are trying to just make it to bedtime without losing it at your kids. All while you’ve been up since 6 am, done at least 3 loads of laundry, done a million dishes, made breakfast, packed what I am sure will be the wrong things for lunch, started cooking dinner, picked up all the toys, cut the banana when they wanted it whole, told them they could not watch anymore TV and needed to play outside, broken up the WWE fight on your couch for the 5th time, fed the dog, attempted your quiet time, heated your coffee for the 3rd time before 9am, dropped off for school, done the room mom assignments, caught up on emails, picked up more toys, cleaned up the milk they spilled because they insisted they could use the cup with no lid and you are tired of arguing with them, fed them 15 snacks in between and its still somehow only 4pm. As much as I know they are right that I will one day miss these days, today is not the day I am going to miss. Well I probably will, but I can’t think about missing today, today. I will think about that tomorrow. Today I am trying to keep the tiny humans alive, but man after bedtime when those tiny humans are asleep do I think I miss them and they are just upstairs finally asleep. But, today you were there for them when they fell and got a boo boo and just needed you to kiss it all better. Today you knew that they would want Cinnamon Toast Crunch for breakfast because it’s their favorite. Today you built legos with your 6 year old and painted dinosaurs with your 3 year old. Today you slaved in the kitchen cooked their favorite dinner of chicken nuggets. Today you listened to them ask their 100th question of the day that makes you realize patience is the hardest thing to have as a parent. Today you watched the tie their own shoes and beam with pride as they were able to perform what you saw as a mundane task until your 6 year old reminds you we all have to learn things for the first time some time. Today you asked for forgiveness for snapping at them when you asked them to stop fighting for the 10th time. Today you were there for them, when they needed you.

You were designed perfectly to just be YOU, whatever you strengths and weakness are, they were perfectly made. Psalms 139: 14 “ I will praise You because I have been fearfully and wonderfully made.”  There’s that word, or part of it anyway, fear-fully. This time instead of fear meaning something that would cause you anxiety, fearfully made means with great reverence, heart felt interest and with respect. Did you hear that ladies we were made with respect, honor, heart felt interest and awe. The verse just before this says “ for it was You who created my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” As mother’s this verse stand out to me thinking I was made perfectly in my mother’s womb and then my children were created perfectly for me in my womb. I know some people never carried their own children in their own womb, but those children were still created perfectly for YOU.

So today I just wanted to encourage you that YOU are enough, you are exactly where you need to be, who you need to be with  and what you need to be to your children. As mother’s we constantly fear are we doing enough for our kids,

are we doing too much for our kids, are we messing our kids up for the future, are we setting them up for success? The list could go on and on, but today do not be fearful. Do not let fear let you control your life. Don’t let fear be how you interact with friends, say yes to that girls night out. Do not let fear tell you, you are not a great wife or daughter. Do not let fear be the way you parent. Know that your best is good enough, you are enough. You are fearfully and wonderfully and perfectly made for the hardest job in the world, being a mom.`