So You Have A Plan

Let’s start this post off with, hello and sorry it’s been weeks since my last post. My oldest son is currently on his FIFTH strep throat infection since January 9th. Yes of this current year, yes that was only 7 weeks ago. Yes, I have spent most of my time driving him to the doctor, getting swabbed, getting more antibiotics and researching strep home remedies and getting referrals to ENT’s to the next step of ultimately getting those dang tonsils out!!!! So in the next few weeks after his surgery he will hopefully finally be strep free and off antibiotics because he has essentially been on them every day since January 9th. So while this post was originally about birth plans and how nothing actually goes to plan etc. I am again reminded that no matter how many times or different ways you try to make “plans”, life or your children laugh at those plans and remind me, I am not in control.

I had a plan about a month ago to write about birth plans and that plan kept getting de-railed because of life. So here is that post after a delay.

So you have a birth plan that you have spent months planning and perfecting. You have researched every aspect of labor and delivery, or so you think. You have read every blog, every mom post, attended that birth class, made your partner come with you, talked to all of your momma friends. You are prepared. Your plan will not fail you. It can’t, right?

Well let me tell you a little something about plans. No matter all of the preparations you think you have made, no matter all the research you have done something always happens differently than you had planned; because we are all different. One person’s labor and delivery experience cannot be compared to another because every person is different. Now this is not to discourage you from doing your research and to listen the advice from your friends, but rather make a list of your preferences. I had one of my favorite OB’s say this to a patient and I thought that choice of words was just perfect. Y’all make that birth “preference” list a mile long, but know that they are just that, preferences. Things that you would like to have done in that perfect world. Preferences that you would like to have happen when they can be done.

Preferences like moving as much as possible during labor, especially in early labor. Also realizing that if your baby has made it know to your medical team that you need to have closer monitoring and you need to stay on the monitors that, the health of your baby is the most important preference. Skin to skin, I am here for it all day every day, but if your baby needs to go straight to the warmer so we can better assess them, please know we want your baby on your chest asap and will do so when it is safe.

Birth preferences look like…

“ I would like to not be induced, but I also recognize that if my baby or my body shows medical indications for an induction that is what I need to do.”

“ I would like to delay cord clamping for 45-60 seconds, but I understand that my physician might need to make a real time decision that my baby needs to have it’s cord clamped and cut and immediately taken to the warmer for help.”

“ I would like to have intermittent monitoring, but understand that if my baby is in distress that cannot happen.”

“ I would like to try natural, un-medicated delivery and would like to be encouraged during my delivery to do so, but if I ask for an epidural mean I WANT AN EPIDURAL and I understand that sometimes things happen that might be best for my labor goal of a successful vaginal delivery so I should get an epidural to help me relax my pelvis.”

Everyone’s preference list will look different. You might have had a traumatic birth expert with your first baby and now you would really like to have a scheduled primary ceserean section. You might just simply want to have a birth photographer or doula at your delivery. Whatever your preference list might look like discuss it with your provider and your birth team. The more people you make aware of your preferences the more likely they are to happen. Your birth team is on your side. We want those things to happen for you! We are your biggest cheerleaders and your ally’s in this scary journey of becoming a parent.

While I could probably write for days about the best things to do or not to do during labor and delivery, I’ll leave those for a post for another day, probably multiple posts on multiple days, because there is a lot! This post is specifically about lowering your expectations and therefore raising your ability to have a birth you look back on and know it was wonderful, even if everything you thought you wanted doesn’t happen. So instead of making that birth plan think about making your birth preferences. Just like in life we try our hardest to make plans just to get thrown a curve ball. I feel like life and labor are all about rolling with the punches, adapting to what you are given. Most of the time what we plan and what actually happens ends up being so much sweeter anyway. So embrace the unpredictability of labor because it is just the start of this brand new life and I promise that baby does not listen to any plan book!